Have you ever felt excluded? - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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Have you ever felt excluded?

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  • Computer1
    Computer1 Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    My exclusion  is when filling in forms online there is no space to put any extra digits to accommodate the 18002 in front of my usual phone number which allows me to use the text type system because I am profoundly deaf.Therefore when these people phone on the ordinary number I cannot hear them, they have to go through the operators so they can type up the message on my screen. The worst time is when I deal with car ins/breakdown, it is so frustrating. 
  • SHEBA
    SHEBA Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    I am sure that most people with disability,whether ,physical ,or otherwise have been excluded,for no reason.Most people already struggling ,do not need ,judgemental ,or ignorance ,which seems rife ,it seems to get worse,with the internet [info ,available at a a click.] you would think people would be more informed,yet it seems to be being used as a means of judging others ,in fact ,the media ,in general ,are demonizing the disabled community,aided by the Tory hate incitement.My family,[siblings] have always shunned me,for being me,others ,have used me ,until they have "better",options.I have been loyal to those who I thought were friends,but they see this ,as a means of taking advantage.Even in the NHS,I have tried ,for years ,to get treatment,/see a consultant ,with no success ,after seeing one ,since my teens.Since I lost my remaining parent [and my pet/friend Sheba],all support has disappeared ,I am stuck in ,most of the week  ,with hostile locals,no G.P.,or visitors.I agree ,all the harassment ,from the DWP,adds to the anxiety ,and can cause people to become more ill.I feel for all the people ,who are experiencing prejudice /abuse,or being judged ,by those ,who know nothing about these issues.
  • JulestheBat
    JulestheBat Community member Posts: 16 Connected
    The answer is 100% yes
    I feel excluded from society period. My pain keeps me inside and I rarely venture out apart from appointments. 
    The NHS pain clinic I went I found patronising. I really did try for 2 years and got knowhere. Which was really sad. 
    With my health the only way I can see of working again is from home and online. 
    Since Ive stopped working friends have dried up, family events are harder as Im at an age where Im the mad Auntie. And I get tired easily. So my illness and diaabilities exclude me in one sense. 
    Im a part time wheelchair user and the diffrence in attitudes from when needing and not is horrific. People are either overly helpful or overly hostile when Im in the wheelchair. Ive had my chair kicked while queing, being pushed and going through a crowd of people and been commented on. Though people being helpful out weighs the hate, It stops me from wanting to use the thing that can give some freedom back. So I dont often go out even to the shops. 
    I cant believe the sheer hatred thats projected on to the sick and disabled in society.  
    So I feel excluded from society in many ways. Its actually a pretty deep question, I could go on longer. The answer is yes 

    " If in doubt, Freak em out" - Sharon Needles 
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    I feel that the attitude towards the disabled is that they are a drain on society due to the bad press we get about benefits. This wssnt always the case. Its like saying a bad word when you mention disability and benefits. I hope this changes in the future as we all deserve to be here.
  • Piglets12
    Piglets12 Community member Posts: 17 Connected
    Yes. Me it's with my church. There's a meeting soon as I been ask to say something from a adult with autism and sensery to help make church more accessable to all! But I feel left out I can sing and play guitar I can read and pray I asked about them things I saved and babtisted. New folk come in either from a church or become christains and on rotas why not me I just as good as anyone. I feel left out. My last church included me in everything but not at my new one. When I moved it's hard  any other suggestions I could say about being included we having more accesable bibles. For those that can read that on order I suggested a sensory friendly room for adults and carers with scream and head sets to lissen to the service and disabiled loo to also included tissues and hand driers and there is a lot of kids with needs. They self expectant and won't use prospects to educate. What would make church more accessible to hidden and physical disibilites? I will suggest them we having a lift out in!
  • mamajayne69
    mamajayne69 Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    I have fibromyalgia and severe ME and wheelchair bound since 2014 after I had sepsis and since then I can't remember when I have felt included. I can count on one hand the amount of friends I have and even then we only chat on Facebook and hardly ever face to face.
    That is what I miss is face to face talk. Just because I'm in a wheelchair it doesn't mean I can't have fun.
    My hubby gave up work to be my carer and all I see now is my kids aged 14 and 25 and my hubby oh and my lovely doctor. 
    So yes I feel totally excluded and it's not a nice experience. 
  • Deefunked
    Deefunked Community member Posts: 1 Listener

    I have often felt excluded, especially by the NHS.  I have fibromyalgia and ME which forces me to use a wheelchair and scooter.  I also have severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I went from being an active police officer to being a shadow of my former self.  Although my friends are brilliant, there are so many hurdles we have to face.  Trying to get treatment for my PTSD is impossible - in fact, a lot of doctors don't even know what it is!  I keep being told to take anti depressants, and I keep telling them I don't need them, as I'm not depressed! The mental health services in this country are appalling!  Physically, I am told that there is no more they can do for me regarding my Fibro/ME, and I have to put up with the pain.  When I am out on my scooter, every journey is met with being unable to pass vehicles parked on the pavement, and lack of dropped kerbs.  I can't tell you how many times I've had to turn around, find a dropped kerb, and travel on the road.  Terrifying!

  • mamajayne69
    mamajayne69 Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    Deefunked i totaly know how you feel as ive been told the same by the nhs that there is nothing more they can do for me. 
  • CousinJustine
    CousinJustine Posts: 9 Listener
    I find that I am excluded from customer service by businesses. If I tell the business that I have a mental health condition, and need something from them, it is like the mark of Cain. They treat me like dirt, and I receive a sub-standard service. 
  • Uniqueearthling
    Uniqueearthling Community member Posts: 4 Listener
    I moved to a new area 8 years ago, i was alone and thought as i had always made friends before it would be easy, but i was wrong, if i do see someone its for as short a time as possible as they have other interesting things to do, and i do not have interesting things i am able to do, the walking club is out as much as i would love to go. i have no family here and i find fatigue causes difficulties, i can plan but then have to renege on it as i feel unwell. i find people are not interested in my lack of abilities as they need someone who is able to be more get up and go. People say go to the club across the road,but it is exercise and bingo, and as i am a reader, and a counselor, who has an intellect, i would find it difficult to enjoy talking about my grandkids as i have not seen them for 6 years as they live far away. I miss them and my family and no there is no answer or i would have thought of it. i find the TV, my garden and flower arranging is interesting,but i used to make jewellery until i got tremors, and flung more around the floor, then my hoover complained..I have difficulty walking so now have a power chair and find i get more respect than when i had a scooter, and used to have awful abuse with a scooter. as they are very visible and not able to get on trains with them or on buses. so considered a lowlife who is not disabled, as the world and his wife have one and it is associated with mobility benefits. The psychology of judgement is the governments way of making people feel less than, it is so wrong. A neighbour of mine would meet with her friend to a betting shop not sure what they are called, to play slots..so 3 scooters were outside, and they were caught by the government spies, they said if she had money to gamble with she could afford to be without benefits. They don't realize most of us are unable to find things we are able to do sitting down. Sorry such a long post.. in short most people need to find equals, who enjoy the same things to do. But fatigue and pain stops that happening. I feel trapped and sometimes lonely for a good friend.
  • Piglets12
    Piglets12 Community member Posts: 17 Connected
    I no it's hard and understand your pain. We both want to do things and it's hard. People benifits and all whatever we want to do like me and church it's so hard to even get noticed. It needs a change in atitude and awareness
  • selkie
    selkie Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    Yes me too and i have also noticed the negative change in attitude since 2010, much more negative attitudes to us. Lots more comments "I saw you stand up, so you dont really need a wheelchair" and "Stephen Hawking worked so why cant you " etc etc ad nauseum. Then there was the chap who knocked me with his car because i was walking too slowly out of the disabled parking bay
     
  • Cbear
    Cbear Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    Reasonably new to using a wheelchair and can walk a short distance on crutches. One evening we were due to go out to our local pub for a family meal. The pub does have wheelchair access but it's a struggle in the restaurant. In my own head I was deciding if to go in my wheelchair and be comfortable or struggle on crutches. I had made my decision that I wanted to be comfortable and I was going in my wheelchair, then my father rung up and told me I shouldn't make a fuss and to leave that thing (my wheelchair) at home!
    100% felt excluded!! 
    My husband and I laugh about it now but at the time it really knocked my confidence. I don't really think my dad had thought about his comment. My wheelchair is now nicknamed "The Thing". 
  • uruloki
    uruloki Community member Posts: 12 Listener
    I woke up earlier than usual today, I knew last I was going to have a bad day today, it was very difficult getting into bed, it's a sign that getting out will be harder. 
    It took me two hours to loosen my joints enough to get out of bed and another hour to get showered and dressed for going to see the nurse to have the dressing on my right leg changed, it smells infected. 
    It's raining heavily outside so I wear my water resistant coat. (Stupidly I don't have water proofs yet) 
    Anyway I go to the doctors and get my dressing changed, it's not infected and I get blinged up with a sliver embedded dressing and head to shops. 
    I am heading home and my joints are getting very stiff it's painfully slow progress when I see three cars heading my way all three drive straight through the big puddle on the roadside and I am soaked to the bone a fourth car speeds up and changes direction towards the puddle, I can't get out of the way and get covered again, a man on the other side of the road finds this very funny, to be honest I felt like crying, I carried on and made my way up rocky balboa hill (it's a third of a mile and a 20 degree slope) I don't celebrate reaching the top and make it home, I am filthy, my dressing has pretty much fallen off and I have to strip off my chair to dry after taking a shower in it to clean me and the chair. I am exhausted mentally and physically and wondering about our society......
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    That's disgusting. I'm wanting to go and slash some tires (joking). Grrrrr!
  • cmci
    cmci Community member Posts: 36 Courageous
    A absolutely disgusting!  Hope you keep warm and feel warm and safe now you're home. 
  • Shon
    Shon Community member Posts: 20 Courageous
     I am excluded from loads of things. Like going out for a friends birthday yesterday. Or parties and the likes of. Upsets me but i gotta put up with it. 
  • alibongo51
    alibongo51 Community member Posts: 37 Courageous
    yes,i feel excluded.ive become more hard of hearing which seems to get even worse after constant operations.i seem to have isolated myself too, as get so upset when people get annoyed or "rollseyes" when i cant hear them.i dont get any invites anymore and no visitors either.one friend even messaged me and said we,l be text buddies till i get my hearing back! sooo just me and my furbaby.love him more than humans i think 
  • selkie
    selkie Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    Yes, i agree with you about our furbabies. Its hurtful when people expect you to get better when you would love to but just cant.
  • alibongo51
    alibongo51 Community member Posts: 37 Courageous
    hi selkie,it is hun.i doubt very much my hearing will ever come back so il either have to teach myself not to get upset,or find more understanding friends lol..bit hard though when stuck indoors all time with other ailments.

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