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Trouble with teens

tommy22tommy22 Posts: 2Member Listener
My son blames me for his own problems as he's never got money and I can't keep giving it to him I dnt work I've applied for over 100 jobs but I think it's because I'm disabled and my age

Replies

  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,902Member Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry to hear that. I have a teen son too. What does he blame you for? 
    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
  • EmmaBEmmaB Posts: 198Member Pioneering
    Hi @tommy22

    I've got a young teen, 13, and it's definitely a time of change and them trying to push the boundaries.  

    I believe that they still really want their parent to hold firm i.e. keep those boundaries and also show them / tell them they are loved.  

    I guess the best thing is to talk to him if you can, and maybe talk about ways he can take responsibility and earn his own money?

    Good luck.

    Emma
  • ABrookerABrooker Posts: 4Member Listener
    My daughter is 15 and the same and recently I have also lost my job so am again hunting! It's tough as I feel guilty for not being able to give what I used to but actually she has got to make her own decisions and mistakes and actually she is old enough to get a part time job now so I am encouraging her to do that.  Hope everything works out for you.
  • debbiedo49debbiedo49 Posts: 2,902Member Disability Gamechanger
    My son is 19 and has struggled with his mental health as well as being my career at home but he is still a teen with an attitude. I’m some ways he is so mature and often seen as the daddy of the group with friends but at home he definately can act about 11! I used to work full time until about 8 years ago and I mistakenly bought him and gave him whatever we could afford first. I felt guilty for working bug as a single parent we had no choice. All the time growing up I would say go him when you get older you could get a part time job to make your own pocket money like I did. Looking back why would he when I gave it to him? You also compensate for being a single parent and try to give them enough dog two parents. Anyway as our income was drastically reduced and often we have been quite poorly off, my son has had to become used to having less or making do. I’ve been straight with him financially and unfortunately this has given him anxiety and he gets depression. However, as long as he is doing something productive I have allowed him to do college, training etc up to a point. It’s either, college, training or working at this point. His argument will be shh should he get a job and bring more money in for ME! Of course I don’t stand for that and clearly explain we are both adults and both contribute to the home not just ME! It’s hard for him to understand yes it really is adult to be 19 and responsible sometimes when he just wants to be a big kid. Anyway we get on really well and are close most of the time but it’s hard for both of us just now. Forgot to say I gave my mother hell as a teenager so I have the luxury of those memories to go by to try to understand him better lol. I have physical and mental health issues which restrict what I am able to do every day so he knows I can’t work full time and earn more money for us and that’s the way it is. He has the option to get a part time job where we live and continue training but he hasn’t done so so far. He is thinking of getting a job at Christmas when his training ends but I’m not convinced. He is scared to dip his toes in the real world of employment. I’ve also suggested voluntary work as a good way to start but so far no go. The struggles are real lol. 
    💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    I am a fibro warrior !💜♏️
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