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Overweight

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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @fishingmum Thanks very much. Quite right I am always a stickler for eating slowly.

    Joined a lunch club people mainly gents. Some time a go. Had to leave it because all these lads getting there food and never to want to eat slowly rushing their food down and I am left high and dry. no one to talk to.

    Am still eating and there all gone a few words to each other not to me really.  Just vanished. All too familiar and me nice quiet lunch. Yet I felt so isolated.

    Went to TESCO for a bite with them and in a matter of minutes all gone. I am sat there as they have gone.   Saw one of the diners said to him what is the rush. Have no time to eat have things to do.

    There lies the problems.
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  • eden
    eden Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi I have always been over weight  grown up at my biggest I was a size  30
    It to me 4 yrs on my own to lose over 8st 
    That was 5 years ago
    I have kept the weight off 
    All I can say is my weight was me not caring about me 
    Feeling  that if the two people in this world who bring me into this world  can leave you at 3 years old  walk away from me 
    And end up in children's homes in Manchester were i was born only to be brought to northern Ireland when my dad was found when I was 7years old and his 2nd wife didn't want me so I ended up in homes here  
    Until I was 18years old when I got my flat 
    I was on my own 
    Why should I care for me or like me  when they could nt even love care or hold me 
    So yes I was unkind to myself 




  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    @eden. such a sad story but I feel it is too often true. When people are down about themselves or their life / situation they compensate with something that makes them feel good. In this way people end up eating or drinking too much or even resorting to drugs. All of such answers are bad for the body, though in different ways.

    I guess I was lucky as a kid and a teenager in that life for me was always easy. I always had many friends and always a gf when I wanted one (though not always the one I really wanted, lol!). My confidence was always good and my self image always good, even as I gradually put on weight. Even the extra weight never caused issues because the self confidence was always there. I guess, because of how popular I always was, that is what now makes living so difficult being housebound and almost totally isolated. I have never had to deal with a poor self image and, now that I seem to have that, have no idea on coping.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • alibabi67
    alibabi67 Community member Posts: 22 Connected
    edited October 2018
    Obesity is a very complex issue. I am very overweight and I have many contributing factors. Firstly I come from heavy stock, we are built like brick poop houses in my family (I think it’s my Latvian side). I was never skinny unlike my sister who has a different dad (my dad’s Latvian so this is where the heavy side comes from). I was then diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18. A condition which contributes to weight gain and makes weight loss very difficult. I also had an abusive childhood physically and mentally and we were very poor so we didn’t have good nutrition and I didn’t grow up eating healthy food or learning about healthy food. I also used food as a comfort especially after I was raped at 14. (In my mind fat people are less likely to get raped) I then suffered an abusive marriage at age 19 where I had a miscarriage due to being beaten. I suffered what I thought was depression on and off my whole life but eventually was diagnosed with bipolar. That medication came with a 6 stone weight gain, plus medication for incontinence that makes me drowsy so I really don’t feel like doing anything. Pain medication that causes drowsiness. Had a total hysterectomy at age 39 so early menopause and couldn’t take HRT for health reasons, there’s a bit more of a struggle.  I have 2 autistic children one who lives away from home and one who is 10 making life incredibly stressful.  Couple this with degenerative osteoarthritis in my knee making me immobile and you have a pretty good recipe for obesity. Yes I know I shouldn’t eat so much bread, yes I know I shouldn’t eat lots of peanuts. I’m not stupid. But to be perfectly honest I don’t have any fight left to fight the flab.
  • JulesA65
    JulesA65 Community member Posts: 33 Courageous
    Up until about 12 years ago, I was 11 stone. Then I was put on Risperidone (side effects inc. Weight gain and permanent hunger) for 6 weeks, and gave up smoking. I ballooned to 15 1/2 stone. After going through the menopause, and battling I gave managed to lose a stone. So I took up cycling, and built a shed and lost inches. I am very active and STILL the drs go on about my weight!! I eat healthily and the bare minimum. Why do people assume you're idle, you eat the wrong foods. The health service needs to get over it's fixation with BMI. BMI doesn't take into account muscle. My weight has caused osteoarthritis in my knees, but by trying to be healthy I got overweight. And all the drs can offer me is slimming world. Which is OK if you can afford the classes, all the foods you need to buy to make the special meals and aren't on a low budget. So don't beat yourself up guys, the health professionals don't really help, or understand. And I bet most of them eat unhealthy, smoke and drink like fishes. So pot calling kettle?
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    There is a great ponderous of "reasons" that people use to excuse weight gain so let me clarify....

    I spend 90%+ of my time sitting in a recliner chair almost fully reclined and when not then I hobble slowly about putting up with the pain it causes to get drinks and, occasionally food. What I eat is not now and never has been classed as healthy consisting mostly of sweets and biscuits with unhealthy heated meals in between like chilli or curry or something and chips. When I eat bread (not often) it's thick white bread. I drink full fat pepsi, coffee with lots of sugar or sugary squash continuously. I also eat lots of jam tarts and apple or mince pies. I cannot use sweeteners or sugar free stuff because they ALL contain Aspartame which gives me headaches and I get enough pain already. I am what can only be described as "stocky" build with a 46 inch chest and 44 inch hips and have a bone structure that weighs 15% more than usual due to particularity dense and heavy bones. Despite ALL this I am still losing weight because I never eat when my body telly me I'm hungry, only when I am prepared to accept the pain moving causes me. The only thing I would call regular in my diet is a bowl of corn flakes smothered in milk so it softens and then double smothered with tons of sugar. However, I almost never drink alcohol though. I smoke heavily, currently back to my 30 a day but not long ago rose to 60 a day.

    Generally exercise has little effect on weight only how the weight looks and, despite ALL the comments you hear every day, healthy eating is not necessary only preferred. The only necessary part of a diet is if your illness requires it (such as diabetes) and the main reason people have problems with such diets is the peer pressure to eat and drink constantly and the continuous food and drink adverts in the media. My mother was always skinny despite never eating healthy food during her lifetime. The main reason was because she lived during the entire rationing years and healthy food wasn't available for most of it, nor was any great quantity of anything. Healthy eating is purely a modern invention and the stuff removed from it often contains many trace materials which should be replaced in other ways but rarely are. Unlike most she never began overeating when rationing was finally removed in 1954. She also never drank alcohol which is by far the biggest cause of weight gain and addiction in this and most other developed countries.

    Ignoring the "hungry" signals the body gives you is the ONLY way to reduce stomach size (barring surgery) and weight relates almost exactly to stomach size. I used to be able to eat a large pizza, a sugary sweet and cakes to follow easily yet only last night tried to eat a whole medium pizza and ended up vomiting up part of it as my stomach was overfull and believe me when I say that I detest vomiting due to the pain and suffering it causes me and I have only vomited a total of 5 times in the last 10 years (how I know that shows just how much suffering it causes, lol!). I will go back to eating 3/4 of the pizza and reheating the remainder for lunch next day (more likely dinner though).

    I am severely physically disabled (enough to be classed as housebound) and severely mentally disabled (even if most people don't understand it can happen) and only under eat due to lack of help and ability.

    Anyone can lose weight. The hardest part is ignoring other people putting pressure on you and completely ignoring the food and drink programs and adverts which blast out all the time trying to convince people that overeating is a good thing. It isn't and never will be. A person can also save a considerable amount of money by eating less and save a fortune drinking less or not at all. I spend the money saved on tailored cigarettes (being unable to roll any more without spilling most of the tobacco on the floor). I used to spend some of it on women but that isn't an option currently. Everyone needs a vice to feel a little normal.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • siobhan1
    siobhan1 Community member Posts: 79 Pioneering
    I was always under weight when younger, and we never had many treats etc available at home. We relied on free school dinners for a proper meal and sometimes if parents hadn't sorted those we would go without. Dinner at home was 2 packs of 10p noodles and 2 cas of chopped up hot dogs split between 6 kids. I don't remember a time in my life I wasn't hungry and I used to get in trouble when I was about 4 for pinching food. I stayed slim until I had children and a combination of things caused me to out weight on, like low blood pressure and anaemia from not eating in my first pregnancy. The second time round I had a better job and could afford to eat and omg did I eat... too much. I put on 4st while pregnant and have struggled to lose it. I don't eat any more now than I did in my early 20s but I move around less due to my disability. Adapting to moving and eating less when you are used to making the same meals is difficult. My partner I think will get scurvy as I have never seen him eat a vegetable. I also have fussy children. I'm simply too tired to make three separate meals and often just go with what my partner or children are having. Then there's the fact that I've still never got over that constantly hungry feeling from when I was a kid. I have wasting "nice food" and subconsciously don't turn down things when I should. When I feel fed up because I can't go outside or hold knitting needles I eat something nice. I'm not happy with my weight but it's not a case of just losing it to be happy. I think it's a deeply psychological thing and I will have to change my whole life to do it. The way I shop, cook, and how I think about food in general. I sometimes do it and lose about 7lbs and something will happen and I just think **** it I'm eating a biscuit. Then I feel like I've failed and give up. It's like I see food as a treat when I feel like that and that it's because of how things were when I was a child. It's easy for me to point this out to myself but not so easy to fix it.
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    @siobhan1, your partner won't get scurvy. I haven't eaten vegetables since I was 6 and am now 61 and never had a problem with it. There is far too much paranoia surrounding "healthy eating" and, if they bothered to check, the average persons diet during the rationing years would be described as being too unhealthy to support life.... and yet many did just that.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • siobhan1
    siobhan1 Community member Posts: 79 Pioneering
    Topkitten said:
    @siobhan1, your partner won't get scurvy. I haven't eaten vegetables since I was 6 and am now 61 and never had a problem with it. There is far too much paranoia surrounding "healthy eating" and, if they bothered to check, the average persons diet during the rationing years would be described as being too unhealthy to support life.... and yet many did just that.

    TK
    It was more a joke but you make some very good points :) my partner is very underweight. I'm overweight, probably into the obese range if I'm honest with myself, my two children both have allergies. I also have celiac and my partner just doesn't eat veg. Finding meals we can all eat together is exhausting ? I sometimes think that I'm not his mother and if he doesn't want to eat what we are having then he will have to make something himself but unfortunately the reason he is under weight is due to MH and he just doesn't eat unless made to. If we don't cook together he doesn't eat. I have to follow a bladder friendly diet which unfortunately means that a lot of veg and fruit are too acidic for me. It's difficult enough being ill without having to shop and cook for 4 people and work out how much I need to buy/freeze to avoid wastage on a low income. Sometimes if everyone is having pizza I just have it even when I'm on a diet and I know I shouldn't! I've started thinking I could just not eat meals at all and try to lose weight that way. My reasons (possibly excuses) get more complicated the more I think about it!
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello every body I am always appreciate every one sharing their stories on these issues.

    Understand one thing here none of you need to suffer if you feel you do that this never your fault.

    As we have seen on the media constant bombardment of underlying messages of what not to eat and what to eat. Very much confusion is reigning around your head, body and mind.  Constantly.

    I am and have been concerned about the weight and the factors surrounding food, diet and nutrition.

    Having been bought up from a family whose attitude add to every day was a controlling factor. Whose food history looking back needs to be addressed.

    Every body needs to recognise that first of all there are no diets that are in my opinion do not work.  This is put about my the food industry of the last 50 years.

    Especially so in the fifties and sixties the word diets did not verbally exist. We those who are interested in the science of food. I am one. Know the health part started in the sixties by certain people in the States.

    Always been in Hollywood of course and the related TV industry.

    Lots of what I know and trust me been doing this a long time. Could understand why gaining weight but eating in my view certain foods were told to contribute to a healthy diet and to my nutrition.

    So started my research after coming off alcohol and addiction.  Lost a hell of a lot of weight.  Anyway need to know why am I getting this wrong.

    Gained qualifications been on courses and the best education is you.

    Learning and by trial and error.  Learning that the body takes time to process information from the brain to the stomach.

    Reason why many feel hungry after a meal still.  Then attack the sweets, chocolate and have another portion.

    Found the well being services . From local councils.  Organisations that help you understand the relation of food and nutrition.  Lots of courses and lots of information.

    Most of the people on the courses who run them are ladies and can help with other issues as well.

    Many of you have seen my meals, things I eat and how simple it is.

    All I can say I am here if any body wishes to ask me anything. Happy to help and offer anything.  Any solutions.

    Lots of misconceptions out there. I understand every body wishes to be a slim svelte community member. What is important is knowing and finding what makes you happy. 

    Food plays such important , special place in many cultures and religions.

    Sometimes we need to take a step back enjoy what we eat and make it special.

    I do every night. Live on my own, turn of the TV and listen to Music instead.

    Is that what is need to do. So be it.

    Lovely to meet those who have contributed and I hope I can help.

    Take care

    @thespiceman





    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    Most diets do work and almost everyone who sticks to them will lose some weight but the problem runs much deeper than "going on a diet". As I said, weight relates to stomach size and when it reaches a certain level of emptiness it triggers the hungry feeling. It is a normal response that makes almost everyone reach for a snack. The trouble is that it is also the main factor in weight retention as well. A common statement now is "no one should go hungry" but that is exactly what a person needs to do to reduce stomach size and, consequently, weight. Without the body going hungry there is no need for it to kick in stomach reduction because it always has plenty of food in it, topped up as necessary. Stomach shrinkage is a part of the bodies natural conservation process during starving situations. Just think when you saw a starving foreigner who wasn't skinny or a homeless person for that matter. To reduce weight permanently you will need to suffer, eat proper meals but never just "when you are hungry", stick to regular times and ignore the hungry factor.

    However, I will say that dieting when others share your home is much harder because the temptation is much higher plus there will always be someone asking for, and therefore reminding you of, food.

    In much the same way I have become used to pain I have also become used to being hungry and I ignore both, much of the time. This is why I lose weight continuously but not quickly, just a stone or these days half a stone now and again as my body adjusts to a lack of food intake,

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.

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