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"You don't look disabled"?

13

Comments

  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Community member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Hits bevt2017, Lovely to hear from you.
    Like you I know how lucky I am to have a supportive family.
    There are times when I get frustrated, partially because I can’t/wouldn’t accept my limitations. I’ve always been a very independent woman and find acceptance of help, even from my brilliant family, can grate me. I’m my own worse enemy, quite a lot of the time I’ll try not to  retaliate by declining help or support because I know I need the help. I’m getting better at accepting. I’m sure I’m not on my own.
    Im so pleased that the cogs of the nhs are starting to move for you, fingers crossed it won’t be long when you’ll be letting us know what treatment they’ll be giving you  ?.
    My son and his girlfriend are here at the moment ( they bought a house just round the corner from us a year and a half ago), my husband as gone Christmas shopping with our daughter ( she lives with her husband about 1 mile away)  for my presents ?.
    Fingers very tightly crossed I’m hoping next week me and hubby will go out and about doing a little Christmas shopping. I find a number of shops are not wheelchair friendly, especially at Christmas when they are bulging with stock. I do most of my Christmas shopping online, I still try to go out because I love everything about Christmas. All the religious side, Christmas lights, Salvation Army band just everything.
    Finally my son is taking me  Christmas shopping for my husbands presents. Like most places now there are big retail parks. Well he’s booked a few days off in 2 weeks and we’ll go on one of the better days for me.
    It so lovely having a gossip with you and many others on here. Take care and I’m sure we’ll have many more chats. Again chuffed things are starting to move for you.???

  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Community member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Hiya cracker,
    Ive found since having to use a wheelchair I’ve grown another head hahaha. I’ve come to the conclusion that you won’t change some people’s attitude so it’s best to ignore them.
    I refuse to waste valuable time on worrying what complete strangers think about me. 
    There are times though that it can upset me, usually when I’m being ignored and they speak to my husband. The shocking thing is some Doctors do this, so how are we to expect the lay person to behave! 
    I too am glad the this forum exists so we can have chats like this. Look after yourself. ???
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @Gwendoline1

    I'm totally with you there, I'm always frustrated I can't do anything.
    My husband always says, he will never be able to do things my way, so I need to let him do things his way.
    (Drives me nuts) lol

    I mean it's not like I'm asking to cut the edges of the grass with a pair of scissors like I did lol
    My neighbour's thought I was nuts ??

    I hate having to use my wheelchair when I go out.
    Not just because people stare, but because It makes me feel vounrable.
    I was out the other day and my wheelchair Broke.
    Thankfully my doctor as done a referal for a new one, but i don't know how long that takes? as I bought this one.
    Serves me right for moaning lol.

    Aww! It's lovely your family live so close to you ?
    I've already started my Xmas shopping, I love Xmas with my children.

    I told my doctor, about  what the vasculities doctor is doing for me, as it wasn't her who referred me.
    She saud I've got a lot going on, but its all positive.
    (She's made up for me).

    Yes! I love our little chats.
    Talk soon ??
  • axwy62
    axwy62 Community member Posts: 142 Pioneering
    Being stared at in the street used to annoy me.

    Now every time I see someone staring I stare back, smile and say hello. Most people at least smile back before they look away.

    I was thinking of giving them a reason to stare by respraying my wheelchair with purple glitter and putting fairy lights around the wheels but my son said he wouldn't be seen in public with me if I did and I sort of need him to help with the shopping bags.
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @axwy62

    That's awesome! ?

    That's something my husband would do to my wheelchair, if I'd let him lol.
  • axwy62
    axwy62 Community member Posts: 142 Pioneering
    If you can't beat them ...
  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Community member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Hiya bevt2017,
    Are you sure your not my mirror image hahaha, I always used to cut the borders in out garden with a scissors hahaha I’m glad I’m not the only nutty person hahaha.
    Super pleased for you with the hospital, you must feel there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel!
    Axwy62, 
    That sounds absolutely brilliant! I’d spray mine leopard print, if  it was possible hahaha and sparkly gold handles. I wonder what my husband would say hahaha! My daughter would love it.
    All take care speak soon.???
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @Gwendoline1

    Lol! Maybe? I was thinking that myself ?

    I've always worked like yourself and was the only female manager running 2 sites (including the men).

    Joined the police force (special constabulary) when i was 22 and did my diploma in floristry, with distinction throughout.
    Who says you need GCSEs lol
    Even the school I went to, i went back and did my Oxford computer course.

    But I love being a mum and yes a house wife.
    My favourite thing to do on my days of, was gut the house.
    I even did a  friends house once, i loved it lol.

    Hi @axwy62

    Join them ?
  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Community member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Hiya bev,
    Haha, my role was normally male oriented, so the men I used to managed quite often could be difficult mmmm saying that so could the women haha.
    Youve done really well for yourself, police maybe not for me really difficult job take my hat off to you. Flowers I love so a florist great! Computers used to be quite a part of my work ( still rubbish though)
    I too absolutely love being a mam and a wife. My favourite things to do would be to scrub the house from top to bottom and make a lovely meal for everyone to sit around the dining table. Sure you are not me! hahaha.
    These are the things I grieve for. Never mind a least I’ve done it, like you.
    Take care, we’ll compare notes next time!???


  • cracker
    cracker Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    So I am not the only one with the grass, but I didn't use a scissors, I use a serrated bread knife.

    I grieve for this, too,, and for digging in the soil.
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @cracker

    It's good to know, it wasn't just me then lol ?
  • Gwendoline1
    Gwendoline1 Community member Posts: 215 Pioneering
    Hahaha cracker, You are now an honourable member of the nutty gang. Didn’t realise there was so many of us. Hahaha all take care ???
  • cracker
    cracker Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Well, I also talk to and pat my plants and say Goodnight to them.

    I have a thriving garden.
  • uniquejourney
    uniquejourney Community member Posts: 14 Connected
    i have that, and because im young no one believed me. (im in secondary school)
    and the looks people give you when your out and about. especially if your in a wheelchair and then stand up and walk for a bit.
  • defeatingdisability
    defeatingdisability Community member Posts: 5 Connected
    I get this a lot I have people coming up to me after we have parked in a disabled spot or as I’m coming out of the disabled toilet. I have written a blog post all about it. Feel free to check it out . Hope it helps. 

    https://defeatingdisability.com/2018/12/05/dont-judge-a-book-by-its-cover/

  • telscope
    telscope Community member Posts: 37 Connected
    I know what it sounds like your all going through.
    I have epilepsy & may look a normal person, when I walk along the street.
    I once had a seizure in a supermarket, I fell into a display just inside the entrance. Many people thought I was drunk. When I came around I saw people, including staff & police standing around me. I was wondering what was going on.
    On another occasion I had a basket of shopping in my hand, when I started having a blackout & was walking out of a store without paying. Luckily a member of staff recognised me & told the police & management of the store I was epileptic. Later, when I returned the store a manager, who spotted me on CCTV, came across to me & politely asked me if I was OK. 
  • cracker
    cracker Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    I am glad it worked out for the best.

    I had an incident when I was walking in the rain in NYC and went to the Ladies' Room,. It was freezing in there, and I got hypothermia. Shook so badly that I couldn't get up off the toilet. The police were sure I was on drugs and took me to a detox center. I asked some hot tea, wrapped myself in a dry towel and ran out into the street to get a cab home.

    Is your epilepsy being controlled at all? There are also service dogs who will warh you about q seizure and push you into a safe place.

    I can't imagine how difficult it is to live knowing that may seize. Good for you that you have'n't stopped going out. 







  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @uniquejourney

    Hope your doing Ok.

    The only advice I can give you, is to ignore them.

    They are just ignorant and don't know anything about disabilitys.

    I know scope have an amazing program, were they go to schools, to educate children on all disabilitys.

    Maybe the children can educate the parents.
     
    Take care ?
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @defeatingdisability

    Hope your doing Ok.

    I will check out your blog.
    Thanks 
  • bevt2017
    bevt2017 Community member Posts: 324 Pioneering
    Hi @telscope

    Hope your doing Ok.. 

    That's shocking, how awful for you. 

    Do you carry an emergency card with you, I got mine through the carers.
    I have one on my bag and one in my purse.

    It says on the card:
    ATTENTION someone is responsible for my care. In the event of an emergency contact this number immediately.

    They have all my conditions, and what medications I take.

Brightness