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Pepper
Pepper Community member Posts: 1 Listener
in Autism and neurodiversity
I have autistic son no speach hes 30 years old 6ft big lad and for the last 7 years he pick and rip his clothes and of late its become an obsession everyday whenever he can he locks himself in toilet and rip his pants socks trousers jumpers ..when i try to tell him he become aggresive and go into rage and first time this week has hit me..really need any ideas which could help me..tried all gadgets thankyou
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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Pepper   Pleased to meet you.

    Sorry to hear what your going through.  Please can I add you very much come to the right place for support.

    My concern is yourself any violent behaviour is something that needs to be challenged, if that means you need to involve the Police.

    That is a decision you have to make. I can imagine your feeling scared and please can I just say.

    If you need further advice on anything like that.

    Consider speaking to Women's Aid domestic abuse is something they can support you with.

    Helpline 0808 2000 247.

    https://www.womensaid.org.uk.

    I am one of the team of community champions. We help and advise members.

    Please can I ask have you ever spoken to the Autistic Society.

    Helpline 020 7833 2299

    Email nas@nas.org.uk.

    Please if you need to talk to one of our SCOPE  team I have the helpline here.

    0808 800 3333

    You can speak to an advisor.

    Please if I can be supportive offer compassion and empathy always here to listen, anytime.

    Please take care, keep in touch.

    @thespiceman



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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,938 Scope online community team
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    Hi @Pepper, I'm ever so sorry to read your message. Unfortunately, if it's got to a point where he's hit you, you really need to involve the police for your own safety. Spiceman's suggested reaching out to Women's Aid, but have you also tried National Autistic Society's Parent to Parent helpline on 0808 800 4106?

    Are you engaged with social services at all? It might be worth speaking to them so they can perform a needs assessment for you and your son. If you're interested, we'd be happy to try and start the ball rolling for you. All you need to do is get in touch with us by email on community@scope.org.uk
    Community Manager
    Scope
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  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Pepper and welcome to the community.

    Sorry I am going to have to support @spiceman and @Adrian_Scope you cannot afford to overlook the violence. I appreciate it was the first time, and you did not mention if there was any remorse afterwards, but regardless if he sees it gets him what he wants with no consequence to himself it is likely to escalate.

    On a more positive note, you said tearing his clothes up began 7 years ago. Did this follow any particular incident? There are some potential triggers which come to mind. 

    An illness or some other medical condition which he has associated clothing with.
    A change in the type of clothes he is wearing, it is not unusual with autism to have sensitivity to certain materials or even if they feel too tight or loose.
    Third is a change in detergent used to clean clothes.
    Unfortunately it could be something small that went completely unnoticed or just a new obsession. If there was a trigger it is possible there is a solution. Does your son give you any reason why he does this?

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

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