Hi, I'm Violet, ask me questions about ASD - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, I'm Violet, ask me questions about ASD

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  • joannarashelle
    joannarashelle Community member Posts: 135 Pioneering
    @Anonymous123, you sound like a beautiful person and what will happen one day is you'll meet someone who sees you as beautiful, he might not be who you were expecting but he will come, I have struggled with relationships (apart from animal ones!) you're not alone I promise you, don't worry that you'll be alone, I too worried about this, that I'd never meet someone I could share myself with, my inner thoughts, and not be judged. 
    Sometimes men find it hard to express themselves so there may be someone who likes you, he might just find it hard to tell you. With ASD of course we are very open! 

    But try try not to think it's anything wrong with you, it's not. 
    Society tells us we have to look act and feel a certain way, and if we don't we are odd. 
    But as you know to have your own way of thinking is a gift!
    Any successful scientist will tell you that.

    Be proud that you are who you are and maybe think about going on a confidence course or self defence class (it builds inner confidence and empowers not just physically), learn to love who you are, the bullies you encountered as a child (I feel for you as I was bullied too..) had issues of their own or they wouldn't have been bullies. 
    The fact you've obviously remained a sensitive compassionate person tells me you have risen above the bullying which is a feat in itself, as some who are bullied go on to bully.

    There are so many out there like you, you're not alone in thinking you'll never have anyone, it's just you have the courage and strength to say it and others haven't! 
    And that in itself is fab

    Joanna x 
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    edited March 2017
    @anonymous123 @joannarashelle

    you are so right joannarashelle :)

    speaking from experience.  I found Martial arts to be very good for me.  I think I have comorbid Dyspraxia.  It was hinted at when I recieved my Dyslexia report.  Ha ha.  My nickname in PE as a kid was "mr. Coordination"

    since practising Kung Fu for a few yrs At University I now regularly surprise myself by regularly catching items falling from cupboards and work surfaces with my left hand!  (Im a right hander.  Prior to martial arts I had always had a massive right hand biass)

    I would reccomend Wing Chun and Tai Chi Chuan.  As with all groups and or clubs be very selective!   Some marshal arts clubs are more suitable for an individual than others.

    the reason I reccomended the above two styles/disciplines is because they do not require an individual to engage in relentless physical training to aquire relative proficiency.

    Tai Chi is excellent!   Theres a bit of a clique in some circumstances but I think most clubs and groups are populated by open caring intelligent people :)  i found it very relaxing and rewarding. 

    We all have some understanding of the health bennefits of Tai Chi.  Wing Chun though is a Chinese Kung Fu Style that can complement and co exist well wit Tai Chi.

    Both Styles are Martial Arts altjough Tai Chi is often only taught as a form of Exercise.

     Wing Chun can teach you some excellent realistic self defence skills.  Like Tai Chi, it does not require even moderate physcal fitness strength or prowess to achieve sucess.

    Wing chun forms rely heavily on training each the left and right side of the body and the brain to be as effective as the other.  it also helps with breathing, posture and self confidence.   Some wing chun exercises involve pairing up and engaging in close physical contact.  This can and will help an idividual to reassess the peronal space of themselves and others in a healthy respectful and disciplined way.

    incidentally, Wing Chun is supposed to be the name of the Little Nun who used the style to fight off the advances of an amourous warlord.  Its not just for Bruce Lee.  Its for everybody.... Especially those who feel small, weak and vulnerable :)

    shop around for a good, reputable club.....  Why not give it a try? :). I would still be doing both were there a group in travelling distance but I live in the Middle of nowhere. :(
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @joannarashelle Thanks Joanna, you are a very nice person.  You have helped cheer me up because I have never had anyone to talk too about my Aspergers.
    @bendigedig thank you too, I've actually tried some kick boxing, just with a bag or trainer using Mits telling me where to hit, not with people as I don't like fighting, I just want too loose weight and tone up and kick boxing works every part of your body and I quite enjoy it.
    I also do some Hiit and Crossfit which I enjoy. 
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    @Anonymous123

    I did three years of Wing Chun and Tai Chi.  I Too have been to a few Kick boxing classes.   I can assure you that Kickboxing and Muay Thai just as much about fighting as Wing Chun or Tai Chi.  You would just treat them the same as you treat your Kickboxing except soon you would come to understand the difference and why I recomended them :)

    I made my recomendations on the basis of improving self steem, general self awareness and understanding others better.  A good wingchun and or Tai Chi class would provide this and would also teach you some excelent self defence into the bargin (something everybody needs to know)

    the close proximity training of wing chun and Tai Chi are to train reflex sensitivity.  This onvolves pairing of with a partner and practicing Sticky hands/rolling hands in Wing Chun and pushing hands in Tai Chi.   This is quite an interesting and very subtle skill to learn.  The benefits of this training are multi faceted and do not relate simply to "fighting".  With apropriate supervision, practiced slowly and gently with a partner, these exercises can provide great personal development. 

    if you just want to burn calories, then I suppose punching and kicking the bag is as good a way as any :) but then again cycling and swimming are probably better?  Tai Chi and Wing chun are not calorie burners, they're are about ecconomy of motion and minimum energy expenditure.  A lot of the Chinese Martial Arts has links with Budhism and Taoism too, so the philosophy is also very interesting.  It did me the world of good.  There are a lot of misconceptions about Chinese martial arts in general.
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @bendigedig sometimes I do some cycling, I don't swim a lot because the chlorine brings on my asthma.  When I go on holiday I like swimming in the sea and scooby diving though
  • joannarashelle
    joannarashelle Community member Posts: 135 Pioneering
    I don't like fighting either @Anonymous123 I'm a pacifist as I suspect you are too!
    Any 'combat' sport is good as it's not so much the body that is exercised and taught but our control and mental strategy, in fact most sports will help you start feeling good about yourself, you need some natural endorphins floating round, you'll benefit and feel proud of who you are, as you should. 
    But I know (from experience) how hard this is. 
    I joined this forum for the same reasons as you I think, to feel connected with similar people with similar personal struggles. 
    It has helped me a lot in the short time I joined. 
    Youll feel less isolated and more accepted, most of all you'll feel safe. 

    I'm glad I cheered you up. 
    After all, you have one of the most awesome animals as your profile pic!!

    Always here xxx
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    @Anonymous123

    wow SCUBA,  id love to do that :) Scooby diving sounds much better though.

    i used to do a lot of snorkelling.  I love being in and under the sea.  Its real freedom isnt it.  The sound, the colours, the textures, weird fish and critters. Its lke an alien world isnt?

    lol.  I better start kick boxing or somthing!  Im wondering whether Id fit back in my wetsuit now?  :/
     
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @bendigedig haha I meant too write Scuba sorry.  I don't think you would be able too kickbox in your wetsuit though lol
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    edited March 2017
    @Anonymous123
    Dont apologise.  I think scooby diving sounds much better.  I can even envisage scooby doo in an underwater scene doing a submerged doggy paddle :)

    i dont think I would be able to Kick box in any suit!  I think im over the hill now :( Kick boxing is somthing that I dont think I'll ever be attempting again.  I went for a walk with my son the other week, we did six miles along a rocky coast.   It nearly did for me.  Im getting old before my time :(

    as far as that wet suit goes, dear me..........  Id be lucky to get 1 leg in it let alone move in it.  I remember the last time i squeezed into it,   The zip  (at the rear kept on comming down.   God the water was cold when it flooded in! :). It was a goid day though.  I snorkled through a Kelp bed, there were all weird pink crusty growths and big pink sea urchins on the rocks in addition to the weed.  I came upon a dog fish, it wasnt at all bothered by my presence.   It was on the sea bed.  I dived down and picked it up, it didnt even struggle.    It was so weird.   I released it and it swam off really slowly :)



  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @bendigedig that must have been an awesome experience.  Scooby diving does sound good, there is such a thing as wet suits and oxygen tanks for dogs and cats believe it or not! 
    I remeber the first time I went scuba diving when I was 12 in Turkey, there was a pool of fish swimming in front of us and I thought we were going to hit them when we swam through them, but when we got closer, the fish actually stopped, let us swim by, then I looked behind me once we got by and they started going again! 
    No one believes me, but it honestly happened.
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    @Anonymous123
    That sounds spectacular.   Ive snorkled in the Med too.  Im assuming that you were in the Mediteranean?  I caught an octopuss in the rocks there.  I also ended up standing on some black sea urchins.  Ouch they hurt so much. The rock looked like it was black.  It was,  black because it was covered in black sea Urchins. They were so densely packed that i couldnt make them out.  My foot was hurting for days.  The spines snapped off, got stuck and didnt come out until they started to get infected.  No wetsuit required there.  Lovely and warm. :)
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    edited March 2017
    Ew that sounds horrible.  Yes I was in the med @bendigedig
    I am going to Cyprus this summer and was thinking of getting a Scuba liscense 
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    Is it Okay to chat in this thread like this?   Im not sure how all this works really.  Im enjoying the conversation but im consious of the fact that its an ASD advice thread thing?

    do you need a liscense to SCUBA in Cyprus?  I know its dead important to be trained up but im pretty sure outside of Britain the rules in many countries are a bit different.  Ive heard in some places you can turn up on the day, pay a few quid, get kitted out and just go for it......   I know how dangerous it can be though so id definately do some pool time here before i considered doing that though.

    Ive had two or three chances to SCUBA in my life and I never made it happen.   I will do it one day though.   Until then Ill stick with my snorkell :)
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @bendigedig I'm not sure if it's okay to chat here, but just in case I will make this my last comment.
    You don't need a license too Scuba dive, but I would like a license so I could maybe teach others.
    Plus I think it would be quite cool too tell people you have a diving license  :)
  • davidj49
    davidj49 Community member Posts: 63 Courageous
    @bendigedig  You need to get a letter from your GP stating that your ears are fine for scuba diving. The GP will perform some important tests, only with this letter from your GP will a recognised PADI scuba diving school allow you to learn scuba diving, every scuba diving centre/location will check your letter/permission from your GP first..... scuba diving looks fun, it is but can be deadly, please read what the experts warn about.
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    @bendigedig @Anonymous123 and everyone else, it is of course ok to chat on this thread (and any of the others!) 

    This community is here for people to chat, connect and share experiences and it is brilliant to read such interesting comments! Crack on!  :)
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    edited March 2017
    @lauraw3128

    I would be really interested to learn from the advice you get.  Im sick to death of having to litterally fight for fair treatment of our Aspergic 11 yr old son.  We have experienced horrors as a familiy with the services (or lack of them) that we have recieved.  Its rife.

    You are not alone.  This is so common.  I feel it is largely symptomatic of a deterioration of the healthcare system due to it being run into the ground coupled with a vast skills and knowledge gap in schools (no appropriately experienced or trained staff often) and a breakdown of social justice I think.

    you have my sympathy and whatever support I can give, if only morale support?
  • Anonymous123
    Anonymous123 Community member Posts: 27 Courageous
    @Sam_Scope Thanks Sam @davidj49 I didn't know that about the ear check, thanks for letting me know! ☺ 
  • bendigedig
    bendigedig Community member Posts: 254 Pioneering
    @davidj49

    Thinking about it.  I think I did somthing to my left ear when I was last snorkelling.  

    I think it was from pressure whilst diving down.

    Im not sure whats happened but since then I have had tinutus in it.

    I hope I havent damaged the ear drum or somthing.

Brightness