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Is My Dad Trying To Control Me With Fear?

DannyMooreDannyMoore Posts: 634Member Chatterbox
edited June 7 in Coffee lounge
Last year I was a victim of a hate crime and it lead to me having to move to a new home away from the people victimising me. My dad knows I prefer to live local to the places I have to go to on a regular basis. He keeps telling me if I become a victim of a hate crime again I'll be forced to leave the city and live in the country.

Are city councils, the police or anyone else with power and authority of the land allowed to cast victims away just because people in the society hate them? Or is my dad just saying this to make me behave the way he wants me to behave, trying to control me with the things I don't desire?
Don't Fear Your True Self


  • cherricherri Posts: 6Member Listener
    Nobody can force you to move to the country if you don't want to. One of my close friends was having a terrible time with chavs in her street shouting abuse at her & her disabled son & the council rehoused her to a different area. She was advised to take the first available house to get a move quickly so she didn't really have much of a say on what area she went to but if she really didn't want to move the police, council & social work could not have forced her to.
  • Sam_ScopeSam_Scope Posts: 3,714Administrator Scope community team
    Hi @DannyMoore do you have a good relationship with your dad? Is he usually supportive?

    I can understand your frustration but perhaps he is just trying to protect you?
  • DannyMooreDannyMoore Posts: 634Member Chatterbox
    I believe my dad's trying to protect me as he always has done. It's not my dad I have a problem with, it's people with perceived differences being casted out to the country that disturbs me. I know this country can make unfair decisions but this sounds too unfair to be true.

    My dad doesn't want me to stand out and unintentionally draw attention to myself, I think he wants me to hide my differences from people out on the streets to prevent them finding out I'm vulnerable. He's always done whatever he feels needs to be done to protect me, even if it was the wrong thing to do.

    Don't Fear Your True Self
  • dedusdedus Posts: 25Member Whisperer
    What exactly are we talking about here ? I am a little puzzled , what is it you feel the need to be so troubled about ? And why would people perceive you as differant , in what way ? The way you think , or the way you look ?
  • DannyMooreDannyMoore Posts: 634Member Chatterbox
    Hi @dedus,

    last year I was the victim of a hate crime so I had to leave that estate and move to another part of the city. My dad said if I become the victim of a hate crime again I'll be sent out of the city to live in the countryside. I don't know whether my dad's trying to protect me or if victims of hate crimes get casted out to the country.

    I get perceived as different because I'm disabled, people in the society viewed me as vulnerable so they targeted me and accused me as being a paedophile starting a rumour setting even more people on to me. To make the police do something and to stop lieing to me I had to overthrow them.

    I pointed out to the police that threats of violence are emergencies and every time a child shouts peedo alerting their parents to my presence, there's a threat that parents are going to come running out of their houses to attack me. I said to them, if you don't start progressing I'll call your emergency line every time they start on me, no doubt you'll transfer me to 101, when you do so I'll put the phone down and redial 999, I will stay on the emergency line until the emergency services come meaning you will be dragged here up to 20 times a week, at least 2 police officers will always be out of use.

    Don't Fear Your True Self
  • dedusdedus Posts: 25Member Whisperer
    I guess if you have been the target of a hate crime , founded or unfounded , it will wear you like a second skin , the people that feel the need to target you rightly or wrongly , ( there are two sides to every story ) will never give up , you are their plaything now , society has its own rules , police don't even dent it , if one of your accusers came on here , what would they say , and where would be their proof ?
    either your dad knows something we don't , or he is just seriously aware of the danger you are in ! Either way he is just trying to protect you , or himself and other family members , 
  • izaiza Posts: 366Member, Community champion Chatterbox
    Hi @DannyMoore
    You seem to me  be very emotional. Why do you react to what people says to you on the street. You should ignore them first than I would suggest to change the energy and feeling into something positive. 
    Why don't you write a book about your life and perhaps what you went thought for yourself or share with others. 
    As long as I remember you do many positive things in life (talks in church, role model for children in schools, mathematics, playing piano). 
    People who have nothing to do and no passion in life will always gossip about others or make others people life miserable. Why do you care what the other people gossip/ say/ talk? You have your own life and take the best care of yourself. Leave others for themselves. 
    Anyway countryside as long as have a big lake is nice place to leave too. 
    I hope you have a good weekend. 
  • RolandRoland Posts: 21Member Whisperer
    Hi @DannyMoore did the police register the hate crime against you as a disability hate crime?  If so, then you should have been offered the support of an officer from the Victim Support Unit who would be able to advise you about the choices of where you want to live etc.

    Try also contacting the charity Victim Supporthttps://www.victimsupport.org.uk/?gclid=CMyL-t-M2dQCFU-T7Qod8RANCw

  • DannyMooreDannyMoore Posts: 634Member Chatterbox
    Hi @Roland,

    according to all the replies to my question is sounds like my dad is trying to protect me. He doesn't want me to stand out and get unwanted attention. Due to how depressed I was last year I was sometimes singing to myself when walking to shop, as you can imagine that caught attention and made some people threaten me or make fun of me.

    I just wanted to know whether my dad was telling a white lie to protect me, thanks for replying.

    Don't Fear Your True Self
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