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I feel lost and alone because no one understands what it’s like to be in agony all the time
I’m 49 and suffered spinal problems from a teenager after many visits to the doctors looking like a little old lady and still only 28 the doctor sent me for X-rays and blood tests which came back with the unwanted news that I had early onset osteoarthritis in my spine, along with degenerative disc disease and many other problems including 4 bulging discs some were pressing on nerves and very close to my spinal cord, this ended up actually bulging right into my spinal cord which rendered me immobile, if I stood up I would collapse and the pain was 10 times worse than childbirth at 31 I had a spinal decompression which meant I could walk again but was and still am in constant agony, I have the strongest painkillers possible including fentynal patches, pregablin, tramadol, naproxen and Ibruprofen amoungst other pain relief. Some days I have to double my meds and am still in agony, I am struggling to live in the house I’m in due to neuropathy in both legs and although I need another operation my neurosurgeon has said that the likehood is if I have the operation to fuse my spine because of my other problems that I am such high risk that it’s probable that I will end up completely bedbound. It’s hard to get through each day and I feel so low at times but having children still at school I’m trying hard to keep as normal a life as possible for them. I was also a domestic violence victim and had both my back and neck broke by a very violent partner and this caused me more problems. Some days I can’t get out of my bed because my body locks up or my legs won’t work, I recently snapped my ankle and spent 12 weeks in a cast which cause me more anxiety and depression and I feel very lost and alone at times because I feel no one around me actually understands what it’s like to be in agony all the time and I struggle to do things because I don’t have any support