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Are the pip asessors allowed to question you about your parenting to your children

mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
He wrote on my report I must be fine because I can change my child's nappies ...is this allowed he kept asking me how do I cook and bath my kids and take them to school or doctors if I suffer anxiety and depression and i dont like going out

Replies

  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 19,339 Disability Gamechanger
    HI,

    It must have been awful and i'm sorry to hear this. However, it's all part of the assessment process because they are trying to get a picture of your daily life and how your conditions affect you against the PIP descriptors.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 19,339 Disability Gamechanger
    For example, if you stated that you don't go out and you have young children that go to school then who takes them to school, if you don't go out? Your partner, your mum or maybe a friend?
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    I explained my mum but he just kept saying i can't seem to understand i said understsnd what that my mum helps me alot hmm because I look after my kids doesnt mean I'm not mentally stable and fine inside and I don't struggle everyday but he seemed to take it as becaude I can look after my children i must be able to look after my self 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 19,339 Disability Gamechanger
    No, it doesn't mean you can't look after your children at all. The questions that were asked are perfectly normal though and part of the assessment. Please concentrate on the MR before anything else.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • janer1967janer1967 Community champion Posts: 2,161 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi I understand how being questioned about how you care for your children is upsetting I know it would upset me.

    But as Poppy said it is re about how you go about your daily life and asking those sort of questions are an obvious part of any mothers day.

    It may go in your favour that your condition clearly affects your daily life to the extent that you cant take your children to school maybe think of it in a positive rather than a negative
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    Hi there as mentioned above I just wanted to send my support and say it’s not nice I know it feels very personal but this is the sort of stuff they ask it was the same with me regarding my dog they must of asked the same question surrounding his care over and over again but in a different way . 

    Because I think with my self they were trying to get a idea of who walks my dog ect , she also asked me things like when you could go out on days out where would you go with your dog ect  , so I was asked questions like that so I’m guessing you would of been asked bout the school run ? And cooking food ect around the children I know it’s hard not to take it personally after me expressing I didn’t want to talk bout certain things I found distressing she kept asking and it sort of made me think why does this lady keep asking me this it’s really hard I know it’s not some thing Nice to go Very stressful . I can’t remember Have you had your final decision yet ? Sorry I forgot . 

    I’m in the same boat I’m still waiting for mines , I just keep thinking positive we’ll trying my best too but Iam really worried but I just keep trying to take my mind off it . 

    Xx 
  • FairHairedFoodieFairHairedFoodie Member Posts: 28 Connected
    After the assessor asked if I'd ever considered suicide and I answered yes, she then asked why I'd never gone through with it. It seemed like such an awful question, asking a person who has had tendencies toward suicide why they didn't just do it.

    I received excellent advice here on the reason behind the question and it made sense to me at that point. The questions can be deeply, deeply personal--and often feel offensive--but knowing the 'why' made it all clearer. I'm sorry your experience was not a good one. I have been there too.
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    @FairHairedFoodie oh no sorry they said that to you my god that’s horrible . 

    Was you successful in getting pip .
  • FairHairedFoodieFairHairedFoodie Member Posts: 28 Connected
    cupcake88 said:
    @FairHairedFoodie oh no sorry they said that to you my god that’s horrible . 

    Was you successful in getting pip .
    I was successful but only after Mandatory Reconsideration. My full timeline is here.
  • mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    @cupcake88 no i got my report back but he had put the dot in every box ehat said I can do everything which didn't make sense to what he wrote so it looks like I've scored no points hun I'm still waiting to but ino what their decision will be have u heard anything back they did say 8 weeks though I don't no why it takes so long when they already know their decision x
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    Hi there hun no I have Heard nothing I did call up and was told it had been sent to the dwp . I personally decided not to see the report I would rather just wait for the decision as I think it would worry me more to look at the report with no answer . 

    Yeh can take up to 8 weeks hun . I think if it gets to 4 weeks I might request a copy of the report but I’m ok at the moment I feel like I’ll be ok to wait a few more weeks . I have waited this long . 

    You never know what it will say just fingers crossed for you hun 
  • lindyloo42lindyloo42 Member Posts: 1 Listener
    Hi all av just got my mr back n it’s bad news for me am just thinking about next steps as I still think it’s wrong . My nerves getting the better off me but I really don’t want to give up just yet x
  • Adrian_ScopeAdrian_Scope Administrator Posts: 7,397 Scope community team
    Hi @lindyloo42. I'm sorry to hear your MR wasn't successful. Sadly success rates of MR are pretty low but this doesn't mean you shouldn't continue especially if you don't want to. The good news is that success rates at tribunal stage are much higher. 

    We've some information on the tribunal process on our website here: Tribunal appeal
    Senior Community Partner
    Scope
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    @lindyloo42 hi Lindy loo sorry to hear this no don’t give up keep going . There have been loads of positive stories on here where people haven’t given up and get a good outcome .  Was your mr because you felt you should of received a higher pip or did your not get awarded at all ? Keep on fighting we are all hear for you 
  • mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    @cupcake88 I've got mine back and they've give me 0 points said I can look after my kids so I'm fine omg the cheek
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    @mk2000 did you get your decision back mk today mk ? Or just the report 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 19,339 Disability Gamechanger
    Whether it does go against a claimant will depend on the reasons they're claiming PIP.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    I got it back the full thing and they haven't give me it 0 points sucks ... when he's said i can do everything I can't i get help or support with
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    Did you get it threw the post you got 0 points for every thing ? Im sorry to here this 
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    I had my assessment last Thursday then txt of dwp on the Friday to say they've received my report , I've rang up dwp today and requested my report. So scared of hearing the outcome after hearing such bad stories on people's. My assessor asked me really odd questions too. The dip told me today that it shouldn't be too long until I get a decision, fingers crossed I will hear something soon as it's only taken 4 weeks since sending off my report to getting an assessment to this stage now.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 4,718 Disability Gamechanger
    Define “odd questions”?
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    Questions like, What GCSEs I got and things like if I ever go on holiday and really personal questions regarding how many times a week does my children go out, when the claim is for me not my children. The questions just didn't seem relevant as to why I'm applying for pip
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    @river123 hi river I was asked very similar questions . They ask these questions to get a idea of your day to day life . And how your condition affects you . I was asked what sort school I went too , a lot about my dog , and if I go on holiday and my response was if opening the front door Is a holiday than yeh she laughed . I haven’t been on holiday in like 20 years . There is reasoning behind there questions .  Just like people with children Get asked bout how they look after kids ect I think it’s the same with pets like with a dog there gonna ask who walks the dog ect who feeds him where would I take him if I could go out do I ever take the dog on holiday I got asked loads to do with my dog . 
  • laurapeachlaurapeach Member Posts: 53 Courageous
    Hi @river123 they have to ask you those sorts of questions to find out what you do daily, and to try and get more information for the descriptors. So say they asked how often your children go out, they would then want to know who takes them out and if it's you then how do you do it. If you can take the children out to the park etc they then might question if you need the mobility component sort of thing. They need to get the whole picture of day to day to relate it to the descriptors. They would also question if you needed PIP if you can go on holiday and get around without support and things like that. It's just another way for them to figure out what descriptors you would best fit into.
    Mum of one, I have M.E/CFS and POTS.
  • mikehughescqmikehughescq Member Posts: 4,718 Disability Gamechanger
    It’s actually very specific and very little to do with your daily life. 

    So, your GCSEs link into reading, communicating and budgeting. Going on holiday is linked into prepping food (self-catering); budgeting; bathing; toileting; planning and following a route; mobilising (how you get through an airport). Children going out is linked to trading; mobilising; planning and following. The sort of school you went to indicates if you went to a non-mainstream school because you had educational needs triggered by learning disability say or sensory loss. It tells them about broad levels of likely impairment. Again it feeds into engagement, communication, reading etc. Having a dog triggers thoughts around who walks the dog; who bends down to pick it up; to clear up after it and so on. That in turn would suggest stuff around bathing and dressing - things which require mobility and movement and bending. It can also feed into reading. Whether a person with sensory loss can distinguish between dog food and soup on a supermarket shelf. 

    As you can hopefully see, there are no irrelevant quest yin’s. Just quite clever ones which enable people with a shortage of time to cover lots of bases very quickly and accurately. 
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    Argh right ye I totally get it now, thanks for explaining it all to me. Makes a lot of sense now. Questions she asked me seemed irrelevant but now seem very genuine. I’m hoping I may get my report today in the post, although it was only sent out yesterday second class so could be a few more days until I receive that. From what the dwp said yesterday, the decision maker can some time go against the reports so I’m not gunna read to much into it now really and just hopefully make get a decision in the next few weeks.  
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    @river123 hi river have you got a update on pip ? I still haven’t heard back @mk2000 how are you did you fill pot your mr ? 
  • mk2000mk2000 Member Posts: 25 Listener
    You probably are getting yours @cupcake88 because I heard back same week and I asked them for the mandatory decision I rang them and they said they will send it but I've had nothing not sure what I'm suppose to do im waiting for my doctors records to send in
  • alieshiaalieshia Community champion Posts: 66 Courageous
    you need to supply full reasoning to every question, did you get any help with your MR? 
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    @cupcake88 hi ye I have had my report back and it was absolutely shocking, I scored 2 on it.. the assessor was so contridicting as she’s scored me two but then wrote in my notes that’s I struggle with things etc so there for I should of scored more. I am just waiting to get my decision but no doubt the decision maker will go with the assessors report and if they do then I won’t get an award. But then I will be asking for a MR. I’m hoping to get my decision letter this week. I hope you do too
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    If I remember @river123 @mk2000 @rsx @depressedmum09 im
    pretty sure we had our phone assessments the same time . And mines took bit longer to reach to the dwp . @mk2000 length of time doesn’t really matter I don’t think it’s different in each town . But thank you . I don’t think I have got it I made 0 sense that day on the phone anxious as hell . So in my head I’m already preparing for a mr . Nothing good happens to me i know it may not be millions but this will really help me out . Ideally I would like higher rate daily living and lower mobility Which I doubt I’ll get I don’t leave my house not since march . So the fact I was able to go out in March could go against me and the thank I had visits from the crisis team each day in January when I took really ill that may go against me they might say I can socialise even tho it was the crisis team . I can’t thank every one enough for the care and support seriously god bless you all . 
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    Aww it is so bad how it makes us feel isn’t it. And yes @cupcake88 I think you had yours a few days before me from what I’ve seen on here. My guess is they will make a decision this week. I’m hoping anyway but like I said I think I’m definitely going to have to go for a MR going off this report I have of the assessor. By the sounds of it even MR don’t change. I think it’s definitely going to be the stage after that for me. My friend went in for pip and got scored 0 then had to appeal and got enchanted for both. So just proves I guess it can happen.
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    Good luck river I’m hoping for the best for your self fingers crossed 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 19,339 Disability Gamechanger
    Mr decision stats have changed since Covid19 and this has been mentioned several times across different threads in the past few days.
    Before Covid19 there was about a 17% success BUT now's its about 54% success rate so a huge difference. Don't ask me why it's suddenly increased so much but it's definitely a very good thing.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • cupcake88cupcake88 Member Posts: 270 Pioneering
    Yes it’s amazing poppy very positive 
  • river123river123 Member Posts: 21 Listener
    Aw great. Thanks poppy and I hope you get the outcome u what @cupcake88 I will keep u updated
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