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Need Support but Partner Reluctant
This is my first post. I am a carer for my partner, although I do have anxiety and fatigue problems of my own.
I've been 100% financially supporting him with just my benefits for over 7 years as he struggles to make any money as a self-employed film-maker. His health is seriously holding us back, and is just getting worse (he has CFS and a genetic condition where his immune system doesn't make enough white cells, and the symptoms of that are increasing all the time). When we first moved in together things were difficult, but not impossible, and he's always making out that he'll improve again. I really don't think he can.
We have been living in substandard accommodation as nothing else is available with housing benefit near where he has contacts. He has said for a few years that he'd rather be dead than claim benefits again. He feels he wouldn't be able to do projects if he was claiming any entitlements, he'd be so depressed. Creativity is the only thing he wants to do and the only thing that distracts him from his chronic pain.
I have been waiting nearly 2 weeks for him to just look for his birth certificate so we can send off a form for his NI number, so that he can apply for PIP (even though he doesn't really want to). He doesn't have a bank account now either. He said his old one must've been closed as he didn't use it for 10 years. He is extremely private and hates the thought of telling people about his lifestyle/finances. I'm desperate for progress!
So, the situation is that I have no support. Specialists and GPs have no idea how to help him. He's on the highest painkillers he can get, but they make him depressed and drowsy, so he only takes them a few times a week. I have given up my life without realising what I've done, and now I want to leave, but he's too ill and unsupported for me to leave. He has zero income, and I have to do almost everything for him, as his pain is intense and his fatigue seems to be extreme for about 80% of the day. His mood swings are crazy because of the pain, so it's hard to discuss serious issues, and I have no one else to talk to. I don't drive and we're stuck indoors all the time, neither of us have any quality of life. His parents have lost touch with him because they can't cope with his illness and don't believe it's as bad as it is. There is no one to ask for help.
I just need some advice as to what is possible. I'm hoping that he can claim PIP without having to stop his efforts at making films etc. That's the only thing that keeps him going. I have to get out of this situation, but feel I have to help get him financially independent first. As soon as possible! This is seriously affecting my mental & physical health, and I haven't found any local groups or organisations to try. What help can he get? Any suggestions welcome.