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JennyF
Community member Posts: 14 Connected
Hello
A disabled member of my family has had many problems over the years accessing churches and church life. Although some church communities are very compassionate and inclusive, she has had difficulties varying from those which are no one's fault, (eg old and inaccessible church buildings), through to treating her like a half-wit, all the way to refusal to believe that she has a problem (her disability is largely invisible). The latest and amongst the most painful is the withdrawal of some very simple provisions made for her by the previous vicar, apparently because someone in the congregation doesn't like it. This was accompanied by a refusal to discuss alternatives and the comment "No one gets any special treatment". This incidentally is in a church that tolerates small children running up and down the nave during services. Discrimination, I think!
There seems to me to be a particularly unpleasant attitude in many church congregations to disabled people, and I wondered how widespread this was and whether it affected other religions than Christianity?
A disabled member of my family has had many problems over the years accessing churches and church life. Although some church communities are very compassionate and inclusive, she has had difficulties varying from those which are no one's fault, (eg old and inaccessible church buildings), through to treating her like a half-wit, all the way to refusal to believe that she has a problem (her disability is largely invisible). The latest and amongst the most painful is the withdrawal of some very simple provisions made for her by the previous vicar, apparently because someone in the congregation doesn't like it. This was accompanied by a refusal to discuss alternatives and the comment "No one gets any special treatment". This incidentally is in a church that tolerates small children running up and down the nave during services. Discrimination, I think!
There seems to me to be a particularly unpleasant attitude in many church congregations to disabled people, and I wondered how widespread this was and whether it affected other religions than Christianity?
Comments
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Thanks for sharing this with us @JennyF, and I'm so sorry to hear about your family member's experiences. I don't think this has been discussed on the community before, so it'll be interesting to hear others' thoughts.
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Hi @JennyF I'm really glad that you have raised this question. My local church is pretty good but the wider church, not so much. When speaking to anybody from the hierarchy it's as though they are encountering a new species or something!Could I ask what provisions have been withdrawn?Scope
Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.'
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Hello Richard
I'm reluctant to go into details as I fear that could lead to my relative being identified, and if that happens it's likely that the situation will never improve as my relative will be treated like a pariah for causing trouble.
The provision didn't impact anyone else as far as my relative could tell, and the only reason withdrawal seems to be that it involves my relative doing something slightly different from most of the congregation.
My relative is deeply hurt by what has happened. Personally, I'm just furious.
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I can understand why you would both be unhappy. Perhaps a meeting with the vicar/priest might help?
Scope
Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.'
Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. -
Hello Richard
You'd think that, wouldn't you? In fact it is the minister who has withdrawn the provision. My relative had the most horrible upsetting conversation with him out of the blue. How do you have a discussion with someone who closes you down with the comment 'no one gets any special treatment', and then refuses to budge?
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Hi JennyF
I really feel for you because you should not be treated like you are.
The founder of our Christian faith Jesus Christ himself would not treat you like this.He will always welcome anyone into his house .
If you cannot reslove this problem by writing to the bishop for your area
Try another part of Christianity like many of the Baptist churches or Evangelical churches
If you get refused entry to the church by your local vicar quote the most powerful
words to him from the bilble
HE THAT COMETH TO ME I WILL IN NO WISE CAST OUT
THIS IS THE WORD OF GOD WHICH IS A MILLION TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN mans word -
Hi @JennyFWithout knowing all of the circumstances it is really hard to advise. Is there anybody who could act as an advocate for your relative?
Scope
Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.'
Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. -
teejays - thank you for your words, which are comforting.
Richard - there is a possibility that another minister will get involved, so that may help. I'll try to keep you posted.
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Keep in touch @JennyF
Scope
Specialist Information Officer and Cerebral Palsy Programme Lead'Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.'
Want to tell us about your experience in the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. -
Hello @JennyF So sorry what your relative has gone through.
I had this myself a number of church organisations.. To think that the message be all encompassing and except every one . Thought I be OK.
Never met so much discrimination and so much inequality.
Had one church went to where attendance was minimal after a few weeks. Found and got treated badly by a congregation. Including one certain person who insists poking making fun of me.
I do feel for you. I have to say any problems have you spoken to some one senior. This is not good at all. Writing to some one senior in the church you have. Might be an idea.
Practise my faith on my own. Do not go to church. For a variety of reasons as I have stated.
Always in prayers.
Please take care.
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